Innuendos

Nature v. Torture

Sadomasochistic behavior has been brought into mainstream society through television and film, but does anyone really understand it? Everyone knows the images of sadomasochism or S&M. It usually involves a man being bound by rope and a women wearing a leather corset while wielding a bullwhip. There have been many studies that this behavior is caused by events that happen in a person’s adolescence. Is it possible S&M is an outlet for some psychosexual trauma or is it just a little painful fun?

An article featured in Psychology Today describes the many causes of sadomasochistic behavior. One theory discusses the possibility that those who are made to feel ashamed about their bodies use S&M to make themselves feel sexual. Since their sexuality was frowned upon, they associate the shame and humiliation felt in S&M with sexual pleasure.

Another theory connects a physically abusive childhood with S&M fantasies. People who were abused as children once again connect the abuse experienced in S&M with sexual pleasure. In this theory, those who were abused as children are more likely to be the dominant one in a S&M relationship. It is believed to give them the chance to act out their aggression towards another person in a harmless way.

I feel that these links between childhood experiences and S&M are valid. I believe that our whole sexual script starts in childhood and is deeply impacted by those first few years of adolescence. As children, we are very curious about ourselves sexually. If one is not properly taught about sexuality then he or she uses those experiences as sexual guidelines. Hence, if one is abused during our most influential years of sexual development, we associate the abuse with sex.

I also believe that S&M doesn’t have to be brought about by some painful event during childhood. Since this conduct has been brought out into public view by the media, people might use S&M as a form of sexual exploration. For these people, it is not so much about conquering painful childhood memories, yet learning how to give total control to a sexual partner, which I feel is one of the hardest things to do. I urge all people to relinquish their power to another. For some, it would be a very freeing experience. C’mon, what can it hurt?